Month ONE of TWELVE!!

We are getting closer to January 9th, the first day we met Aaron. It's amazing that in less than a month we will celebrate 1 year together as a family of 4!! I think I'm going to 'try' over the next few weeks to re-cap each month (almost 12 total) that we've spent together!!

So tonight------Month #1 January (uncensored, unglorified---just REAL events!)

We met Aaron on January 9, 2010 for the very first time. I can't put the emotions into words when I first saw him. My legs were shaking and I was SO scared. I could quickly identify him as the nannies rounded the entry way with the kids, he was wearing the outfit that I had sent in his care package. First thought, what's wrong with him? Why is he so TINY compared to the other babies? The outfit that I sent to him was a newborn size, he's now over 5 months old?? Shane of course is calm, cool and collected. I continue to shake as I take him from the nannies arms. Aaron didn't react to me taking him, didn't cry or smile or anything. Just stared at me as if he was looking through me...not at me! We held him for what seemed like hours, he sat in our arms and eventually ended up just peacefully falling to sleep in my arms without a fuss. The entire time I held him I prayed that this sweet baby boy whom GOD had brought into our lives was ok. We never expected to arrive in ET to greet a 9 lb baby boy. When we were matched with him (in Oct!) he weighed more than he did the first day we met him (In Jan!). After we left the transition house that day I felt like I could/should throw up. I quickly ran to update everyone via email of how wonderful it was to meet him, how great he was and how precious and perfect he was----all the time trying to convince myself of the words that I wrote. I mean wasn't everything supposed to be PERFECT?? We didn't get to see him the next day, Sunday. This just made my nerves shoot higher, a whole day to sit and stir about our initial meeting. We tried to stay busy and explore, but since I wouldn't eat (due to the nerves!), I wasn't in the best spirits. Monday morning came and we spent the majority of the day with the kids. We held Aaron and also took time to play with the older kids. We were able to get Aaron to interact with us a little more and 'almost' got a smile from him. Overall the day went by really quickly and a small (and I mean really small) piece of my anxiety was lifted by the time we were able to spend with Aaron. We left him for his last night EVER in the transition house, never again would he have to sleep with 5 other babies and two nannies. The next morning we came to the transition house and since then...he's been with US!! We truly believe that the agency staff cared for him the best they were able and knew how. He was clean and in the routine of being held and fed. We have learned so much about Aaron within the past year that makes us really understand why he was in such bad shape when we first met him. We have worked countless hours with our pediatrician and specialists (ENT, pulmonologist, urologist, speech pathologist, occupational therapist, physical therapist, infectious disease and development pyschologist---did I get all of them?) to identify the issues that led to our eventual diagnosis/treatment. As you know, all of these resources are not available in ET and therefore how would they have known?? Each day I thank God for Aaron coming to the US and for the people that have been placed in our lives to help him/us. The problems we've discovered (which I WILL talk about because they aren't anything life threatning, super funky or secretive) told us so much about why he was always hungry at the transition house, why he couldn't sleep and why he ALWAYS cried!! The first 9 weeks home with Aaron were SO hard, but I was convinced that I couldn't let down my guard. I'm super-mom, I can handle this one!! Nope---I couldn't, not without Super-dad. Super-dad slept in Aaron's room with him for the first 9 weeks we were home. Aaron woke up every hour and therefore for one of us to get sleep we had to take shifts. Shane took the first from the time we put Abby to bed (8) until about 3 or 4, depending on which hour he woke up. What was hard about him waking up was the only way to get him back to sleep---a bottle!! He wanted to eat every two hours and that's two hours from the start of the last bottle (it took 30-45 minutes for him to drink 4oz). Exhausting, just thinking about it now! So I'd go to sleep right after we laid Abby down and sleep until 4. Shane would then go to sleep and wake up around 10. Then----the adventure for the day would begin....sometimes to the children's museum, sometimes to the mall to ride the carosel, sometimes to the park (depending on how cold it was). We were walking zombies, equipped with enough formula to feed this little guy round the clock!! There are so many things that are popping back into my mind as I think about the first few weeks home, they exhaust me....but I'm so pleased to say though...WE ALL SURVIVED and we are still married!! Month #1 = pure exhaustion, start of our medical detective work and mastering the art of baby swaddling to try to increase sleep!! And of course---JOY over the fact that we now have a super tiny little boy to love and care for!